Herald Sun February 24, 2010
HOW good is this bloke? The minute we learned another seven Victorians were stabbed last weekend, Premier John Brumby took action.
Well, he announced new advertisements. Same diff.
Here's how we broke the news in the Herald Sun:
The Brumby Government is planning a shock TV campaign aimed at young males who think it is cool to carry knives.
Bound to work, of course. Many shiv merchants just needed an ad to teach them it's naughty to stab people.
So I predict this campaign will work as brilliantly as every other one Brumby has announced each time there's more blood in the streets.
In fact, so effective have Brumby's campaigns been, and so ungrateful has been The Alfred hospital by bitching instead about a 70 per cent rise in stabbed patients this year, that it's only fair in this election year to remind voters of all that their Premier has done to make their streets, nightclubs and railways stations so safe as they are.
Right from the very start of his time in the top job, Brumby was issuing press releases to keep the thugs in their place. Here's a beauty from August 30, 2007:
The Premier, John Brumby, today announced new legislation would be introduced this year to address a rise in assaults in and around licensed venues.
Hot stuff. And there was more just like it the following May:
Premier John Brumby says Victoria's binge-drinking problem justifies a ban on drinkers entering Melbourne city bars, pubs and clubs after 2am.
Brumby was now on a roll, and last April did his some of his best work:
Victorian Premier John Brumby has pledged to bring Melbourne's mean streets under control by early next year.
Following another spate of alcohol-fuelled violence in the CBD, Mr Brumby ... said the Government was tackling the problem through more police, tougher liquor licensing controls and beefed-up police powers.
In fact, if press releases could stop crime, Brumby had the problem licked just three months later:
Premier John Brumby and police chief Simon Overland have pleaded with Victorians to rise up against a growing culture of street violence.
The call came as six men, including three nightclub bouncers, faced court over separate bashing incidents this week that left Canadian tourist Cain Aguiar dead and footballer Luke Adams in hospital.
And by November last year it seemed almost overkill to issue yet another press release after such triumphs:
Victoria Police will put more police on the streets in a targeted operation to tackle alcohol-related violence and anti-social behaviour ... Premier John Brumby said today.
But just to make sure, Acting Premier Rob Hulls on January 7 flogged the few thugs left with one more bit of paper:
Victoria's tough new weapons search laws were used for the first time today as Victoria Police and the Brumby Labor Government sent a strong message to Victorians that knife crime would not be tolerated.
So you see how much Brumby has done to keep you safe. If he hadn't sent "a strong message" last month that "knife crime would not be tolerated" how many more of us would have had their throats slit or stomachs slashed last weekend? Forty? Fifty?
So praise the Premier and pass the press release. I don't know where this last lot of blokes with knives sprang from, but they soon won't know what's hit them. Not at all.
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3 comments:
Andrew Bolt has written a satirical piece about knife crime. He uses sarcasm and strong arguments to make his point.
Tugba.
Andrew Bolt has written a satirical piece outlining the violence occuring in the streets of Melbourne. Also outlines that the Victorian Government isn't doing enought to prevent the violance that is continuing to increase.
Andrew Bolt has written a sarcastic piece about violence involving knives. He has a strong point of view, and he believes that there should be something done about it.
Meryem
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